It's time to come back to this well. Yes, it's a topic you should all know very well! It's DiC Entertainment! I'm surprised I've only talked about like eight or so of their shows. They still have valuable material for me to make into bad blog posts. They were a big part of my childhood. You couldn't walk five fuckin feet without hearing that DEEK sound after an episode of some tv cartoon. The kid sitting in bed watching a DEEK star. Now that I think of it it's a really stupid closer for their stuff. Anyway, I figure it's also time to try and discuss the shows that people I've been talking to for 284230492304920490 years liked a lot. So this one is for GAYMIEN CRAPPELLO. Only a few people actually get what I'm saying with that name and mots people are just thinking I'm making fun of him. Anyway, let's finally discuss the 1985 to 1986 animated masterpiece that is M.A.S.K.
Since it's really been long enough since I've actually mentioned DiC that means I get to get a free paragraph here where I recall their origins. They were created by a man named Jean Chalopin. The greatest Frenchman of all time. I want to give him a great big bear hug one day. DiC was created in France in 1971. They made some cartoons no one really cares about or talks about because uh I guess we never saw them here in North America, the place where THE REAL ACTION HAPPENS. Anyway, in 1981 they set up a deal with TMS aka Tokyo Media Shinsha, which apparently lasted until 1996. Some of the first cartoons they made to actually make it to North American shores were Ulyusses 31 and The Mysterious Cities of Gold.
The next show they created was Inspector Gadget. I won't get to into detail there because I plan to redo that post on Inspector Gadget so no history for Gadget here! Anyway, Gadget opened up the FLOODGATES and they even had to create an American branch for the shows. They would work with all kinds of animation companies from Canada and Japan. They got called Do It Cheap but I honestly think the stuff from when Jean Chalopin was the head of the studio still looks pretty nice. I dunno. Andy Heyward who helped create Inspector Gadget does some shady business dealings and Jean Chalopin was no longer at DiC. Still the company was hella popular. It kinda lost something somewhere around hte late 1990s when they started working with French studios to create horrible things like The Wacky World of Tex Avery. You could go to Tex Avery's grave today and take a huge shit on it and it would still be a nicer thing to do than make that show. So, so bad.
They made a few more shows based on licenses but most of the shows they did in the 2000s seemed to be remakes of Inspector Gadget and uh, really lame ideas like Super Duper Sumos. I watch a lot of stupid, stupid crap but I will never watch Super Duper Sumos so do not ask. Anyway they kept making stuff until 2008 when they got bought out by Canadian company Wild Brain (which literally bought every Canadian company making kids entertainment ever.) They were also owned by Disney which is why we got that Inspector Gadget movie that I will probably have to talk about in that Inspector Gadget redo.
So M.A.S.K. was a toyline that was turned into a cartoon. It was a weird hybrid of G.I. Joe and Transformers. They were cool helmets they call masks. It had lasers in it. Throw a laser in it and I'll love it. M.A.S.K. stood for Mobile Armored Strike Kommand and they went up against VENOM who was like Bad Guy M.A.S.K. ran by a man named MILES MAYHEM. That's like the best bad guy name of all time. I love it. M.A.S.K. ran from September 30th, 1985 to November 26th, 1986. Then it was put into reruns for some amount of time. Sadly I never got to see M.A.S.K. reruns I don't think. I really wish I had though, show is fucking cool as shit and I would have loved it.
The Final Episode came to us on November 26th, 1986. It was called Cliffhanger and was written by Ray Dryden and Jack Olekser. Ray Dryden produced some movies before writing for this show and then disappearing forever! The movies he produced were Deadly Games, The Clonus Horror (I'm pretty sure this was on the MST3K show!) and The Attic. The Attic was a WEIRD movie and Deadly Games had the Christmas Story kid (sorry he no longer has an actual name and is just known as The Christmas Story kid) trying to get away from a crazy man who enjoys killing. Jack Olekser wrote for Heathcliff and Care Bears and wrote several kids movies. The kind that were a cheap ripoff of a more popular kids movie. I would actually like to talk to him about that. It seems kinda interesting. You'd have to stay close to the other movie but different enough that Disney doesn't send Mickey Mouse out to beat your ass.
Okay, so we end the KICKING RAD theme song that plays. One of the best of all time in fact. We then see MILES MAYHEM argue with his brother (twin brother it seems too) MAX MAYHEM. Max wants them to go legit and Miles is so angry about that idea. Max Mayhem also has a monocle. Why? I have no fucking clue, someone just wanted to draw a monocle. Let them be. It's not a problem, really. MILES MAYHEM then talks about how powerful he is. That no one has seen this much power since the days of the Dinosaurs! Max then says the dinosaurs went extinct bro! you gotta change shit up! We then move to Matt Trakker talking to some Native American dude. I get the feeling some YOUTUBE VIDEO ESSAYIST would call this character racist for some reason. I don't know. everyone's politics on the internet suck and I hate them. I don't even know why I brought it up.
Now they are on a race track. Apparently the second season went hog fucking wild over racing. Like it was the greatest fucking thing invented. I mean yeah, it's pretty cool but Jesus man give us some variety! Anyway Matt Trakker and Miles talk to each other. Is VENOM actually going legit?? So Brad calls Clutch and he goes to help him just to get yelled at by a cop for trying to do a U-Turn? on an empty street? Oh, it turns out to be some new VENOM guy who then ambushes him. I hope Sly Rax shows up with his Jack Nicholson voice. Brad Turner and the Native American guy realize something is up! Brad gets into RAZORBACK (which is such a cool name) and then some new VENOM guy causes the lights to stay red (from the sewers????) and sends up a giant saw to cut into Razorback's tires. This show is fucking wild.
The Native American guy shows up trying to help Clutch but it was only a trap! Two new VENOM guys show up and trap them in there with THE SLUDGE CANNON. the SLUDGE literally looks like poop. A mountain of poop trapped two members of M.A.S.K. that's hilarious. They need to contact Matt to tell him what happened. Trakker gets the message and so does MILES MAYHEM. His race car then splits into two and flies off. He sends drones to try to stop Matt but Matt's too much of a hard ass mother fucker to let that happen. Matt's dad was clearly Charles Bronson. The VENOM bad guy with the "SLUDGE" Cannon fires into a smoky cloud created by Matt and says IM BOUND TO HIT SOMETHING and he did. He hit MILES MAYHEM. He's now covered in poop. I am five years old today.
MILES MAYHEM flies off to steal the profits for charity. You know because he's evil like that. MAXIMUM MAYHEM shows up and they talk about things. He had to convince Max that he had gone honest or he wouldn't be able to steal millions from charity! Wow, MILES MAYHEM really is a jerk. MAXIMUM MAYHEM then says it was a stupid idea and joins MILES. I guess Miles was right you shouldn't trust someone with the last name Mayhem. Matt is in trouble and then some New Mask GUY shows up and saves him. However Miles Mayhem has escaped. Along with Venom even though the SLUDGE cannon guys car thing got frozen by the new MASK guy. All of M.A.S.K. then talk about how they are going to find VENOM and that scene ends. Now we are talking to some Scientists who realize the water is all messed up! It turns out that VENOM is creating a lead escape route in the sewer!?? wild. Anyway M.A.S.K. clearly got called by the Scientists as they well stop VENOM for the very last time. MILES MAYHEM says he'll get TRAKKER if it takes 100 years but that's a lie because this is the Final Episode. They are ambushed by M.A.S.K. at the end of the tunnel after chasing TRAKKER who was the only one to go in after them. I guess the other guys didn't want to smell like shit for days. M.A.S.K. then says they will keep on trying to stop VENOM.
We then get the PSA of the episode. These things taught me how to respect animals and people and never do drugs. I am the person I am today because of preachy 1980s and 1990s PSA. Well that and mostly my parents. I'd really get up and go get some oreos when this stuff happened. Man Oreos are great.
FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a fun episode. I had a good time with this one. I like MAXIMUM MAYHEM. It's fun to give the villain a brother. Anyway I hope GAYMIEN CRAPPELLO enjoyed this one. I'm sorry it took so long!
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