Woah, I forgot that I also review NES Games!!!

 Well I think It’s time to get back to reviewing NES games on this old blog here. I like this group because five out of these six I’ve played enough to know about how I feel about them without even having the fire up an emulator. That’s pretty good because sometimes I’m like “oh how do I actually feel about this game? Haven’t played that one in forever… oh it’s bad” but this time I know these games and I love some of them. Anyway let’s get to blathering about these games.

The other five games I know well enough that I don’t have to play again to review. I did however have to play this one again, just to remember that it’s like that old computer game I played once or twice at a relatives house that was somehow better. It was made in the early 1980s and this was from the late 1980s. Six years, that’s not an amazing amount of time or anything but in the video game sphere. Six years was Atari ass shit to NES goodness. This game however tries to make it a big more bigger and better and fails. You have special hidden areas and I’m just not into that shit any more. I just want to shoot things to entertain myself with these games, not have to find a hidden area that you need to find to get a hostage. However I could probably do that if the fucking play control was shitty as fuck. It’s just so stiff yet somehow loose. I just realized the play control is what ruins so many video games and ruins this one. However I know that the second I hit publish on this post I will have forgotten this video game yet again. Say what you will about the other five games I will be talking about here but they are at least memorable.

This was a game I owned as a child and with pretty much every thing else from when I was a kid I’m always going to have some rose tinted glasses for those things. I’m going to try to be fair and balanced or whatever. I’m going to praise some of this game. The graphics are pretty great. The music is also pretty great (Even Portnoyd will have to agree). The game controls pretty well and it’s pretty neat that a weird racing game is also action packed. I will just say that this game is fucking BRUTALLY HARD. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten past the 7th or 8th level. This game starts off easy, like level 1 and 2 are like a carefree walk in the park but by level 6 this game has taken off its pants and is fucking you right in the ass. However, I still like this game but holy shit it’s one of the hardest games on the NES (and one I would still love to beat, along side Adventure Island which is another one of the hardest games on the NES!)

You know sometimes ripoffs can be a lot of fun. In the 1980s Italian movies would ripoff American movies and somehow make every single one of those movies insane (and mostly insanely entertaining). I mention this because Code Name Viper is just Rolling Thunder except this time the guy you play as doesn’t like to wear pants despite going off to kill 102391039109103 people to stop evil crimes. It’s wild. I guess he just likes to feel the fresh air on his dick and ass. I don’t know. Anyway, this game like Rolling Thunder is really quite fun, however it is also pretty damn hard. Not as hard as Rolling Thunder but still pretty good challenge. I should probably not say hard as much seeing as this guy just doesn’t want to wear any pants!!! (seriously play the game and tell me it looks like hes wearing pants!!!)

I should literally refuse to review this game because It’s really not even a game. It’s just a coloring book somehow ported to the NES. Like I hate to even compare this to Mario Paint because Mario Paint did things and you can do some pretty wild stuff with it to this day. Mario Paint can be considered a video game. It can be considered to be fun. This isn’t that. Seriously, spend $5 on a coloring book and color that if you really need too. It’s much better than spending $120 for this game. Seriously, I don’t even need to go into a “Jesus Christ it costs THAT now” spiel because seriously it’s fucking Color a Dinosaur.

If you think I’m just going to say WOW THIS GAME IS A MASTERPIECE AND A CLASSIC just because it’s Capcom then you’re dead fucking wrong. I’m not going to praise something that’s awful just because a video game company/film director/actor/whatever who ususally does good work did it. No this is one of their earliest games and well when you see a Capcom game with the grid look on it, well it’s kind of a crapshoot if it’s gonna be good. This game is not good. I personally feel the Commando character moves way too slowly and you get swamped by 92,000 bad guys so quickly and easily. There’s another Capcom game from this era that is similar but does things so much better. We will get to it soon enough, I hope. I just find this game to be annoying and unpleasant to play.

We now get to one of the fucking worst NES games period. This is bottom ten material here. This also reminds me of a goober from a goober website (Nintendo Age for those who don’t know) who would say this game was better than Mario 3. I don’t like to throw around the term contrarian lightly because people are able to have weird opinions on things but there’s no way BUT to call that guy a contrarian because this game is unplayable horse shit. The controls are frustrating. You have to hold the up thing on the D-Pad to jump up. You have such a poorly thought out levels too. They want you to do so many frustrating things with shitty controls in the levels. Sometimes you get a level that is different is that it’s just really fucking boring to play through! Wonderful. The graphics were AWFUL for the time. Like completely hot garbage shit. The music is also some of the worst. A truly unplayable, indefensible turd of a video game.

That was fun. You will get some more reviews soon. Anyway back to the rankings

Good games: 61

Bad Games: 57

Okay games: 15

This doesn’t even count as a game to me, Sorry: 1

Random Thoughts about YouTube and Maybe Other Things.

 Well, it’s Time for another random grouping of thoughts, this time mostly dedicated to the one social media site I haven’t really talked about, a site called YouTube. It’s really quite great but also really shitty too.

1.) YouTube is probably the best social media site. You really do get tons of people that work their hearts out to create fun and unique content. Also tons of movie and tv show clips (hell even full movies and tv shows). I felt that I should start off positive because I have some really negative as fuck things to say about this website too. It’s not perfect and not even close to it and they really need to do something to fix some of the things I’m going to bitch and moan about.

2.) I think I’m going to start with retro gaming YouTube and stuff. I watch a good amount of the stuff. I even watched retro gaming resellers (which I admit I found interesting because the guys seemed likable enough, it was an interesting look into the other side of retro gaming (how the people who sell games at conventions get those games) and other stuff. However I’ve grown to not be able to watch the content. And no it’s not because they helped raise the prices of games. I mean yeah they have but I felt that I was priced out of retro video games in 20 and fucking 14, not because of the new group of people, but because I’ve been hearing some sleazy things about these guys. Like undercutting people (sometimes even on video. I don’t think I’ve seen every fucking video these guys put out) but what gets me is that they use WhatNot to sell things and that’s a video ebay site thing. A lot of people in this day and age end up having parasocial relationships with YouTubers they will never meet. No I’m not going to make fun of these people because loneliness will make you do weird fucking things and a lot of people these days are lonely. What I’m getting at is I just feel this way of selling things is sleazy as it takes advantage of these people with parasocial relationships. Oh no my friend DifferentStrokes-AvengersFan696969 needs money help, I’ll buy this thing for twice its worth to help him out! It just feels wrong to me. I dunno.

3.) I fucking hate anti-woke YouTubers like Nerdrotic and YellowFlash and Eric July and others. I fucking hate that I watch that stuff to be annoyed (either by inaccuracies about the things they talk about like say comic books or the politics that yes are in the fucking videos. Nerdrotic showed up on Piers Morgan and Prager U. Sorry but you’re political when you join up with those guys) and the main reason I don’t like them is that I believe they help radicalize people using things they love like Transformers or Indiana Jones or Star Wars. I’ve seen this happen thanks to using Twitter and other stuff. It’s very annoying. I’m sorry but Hollywood realizes that they can get money from people who aren’t dudes and they will keep going with this. Do I think every single case of diversity works in new media? No, I’m sure some are just shitty due to all kinds of reasons but I’m not going to get mad over every single attempt. Sorry but they will keep doing this (and hell I’m just going to go here and say I liked that lady character they hated in Indiana Jones and The Hopefully End of This Series because she seemed to care about being in a movie and Harrison Ford clearly wanted to be anywhere else.)

4.) In all fairness I also fucking hate pretty much most of left wing YouTube too (even though I consider myself left wing) I even believe getting into this content due to things like parasocial relationships and other things will help radicalize people to a completely different cause and no one wants to talk to a radicalized political person who won’t step one iota out of their comfort zone to maybe I dunno actually fix any of these problems. Also these guys do the worst thing left wingers do which is expect literal perfection that only Jesus could ever do from every single person. Sorry, I’m not perfect, sometimes I’ll even say conservative things are not completely wrong. One example is that so many of these people will pick some random things made between I dunno 1910 and 2000 and get offended by the fact that this thing was different than 2024. It’s a pointless thing because none of us can change the past. The past does not change ever for anyone. I guess what I’m saying is that both groups seem to forget about the concept of nuance (i’ll bring my point of not getting offended and angry about old movies and TV shows and stuff into here. My parents want to show my nieces Adventures in Babysitting from the 1980s because we all pretty much enjoyed the hell out of that movie when we saw it in 1990s, however it’s a PG-13 rated 1980s movie and those had swearing and cursing and all kinds of stuff and children as young as these probably shouldn’t be seeing it. Probably at an age where you can say “Hey they did things differently back then, you’ll enjoy this movie but I sure as heck don’t want you repeating a ton of words in this movie”) I dunno. I just don’t want radicalization to happen because it just shits up the political system and is no good.

5.) If I hear another half baked comment about capitalism and billionaires in a discussion video about some goofy nerd thing like Power Rangers I will rip the rest of my hair off my head and shove it down the You Tuber’s throat. I don’t even think we gave ourselves (the human race here) a good system of ideals with capitalism I just think that to even change that stuff a little bit we have to be ADULT WITH OUR ARGUMENTS ABOUT IT and not bring in things like Power Rangers or Harry Potter or Webster or Boy Meets World or any of these things into it. I say this as an adult who likes silly goofy crap like Voltron and RoboTech and comic books BUT this is a serious thing that needs to be taken seriously!

6.) back to Nerdrotic and the others of his ilk, the vast majority of them are not actually fascists. A term the internet learned and I don’t think most people know how to use correctly. No, Nerdrotic and all of these people literally would be profusing love for these ideas and movies, every single one of them, if it wasn’t fucking profitable as SHIT to do so but you make more money selling anger to people. Now will I say the fans may end up being fascists? Yeah, I can totally see a fan of Nerdrotic wanting things like everyone who has even a single left wing thought eradicated from the world which IS a fascist ideal. Nerdrotic just doesn’t give a shit because he gets money which is a reason people use YouTube.

7.) It annoys me that someone who clearly puts effort into their research and editing and planning of ideas (and no I’m not talking about my crummy YouTube videos here either) gets less likes then the angry dickhole yelling about Star Wars or Dr. Who or what the fuck ever. An example of this is PopArena, I’m not saying the videos are perfect (He talks about Nickelodeon but brings up politics and weird shit way too often. He talked about the Dennis the Menace show from the 1950s/1960s and went off in random 5 second quote about how Hank Ketchum wanted to actually keep his job at Disney and dared to not join the strike in the fucking 1940s working for a dude that if he could would have fired every single striking person without breaking a sweat. We can argue about unions and all that shit now in 2024 and I’m for them but I’m not going to browbeat a dead man for a reason like that. Sorry, it’s weird and kind of annoying) but they clearly put effort into them and it’s sad that they don’t have even half as many subscribers as the guy who just turns on a microphone and yells KATHLEEN KENNEDY IS THE WORST HUMAN BEING WHO EVER LIVED!!!!!!

8.) Kathleen Kennedy put up money (which is how you become a producer Nerdrotic fans, not get Steven Spielberg coffee) which helped get Gremlins, Gremlins 2, Back to the Future films, Jurassic Park, and a ton of fucking other amazing movies get made (and the Steven Speilberg Warner Brothers cartoons of the 1990s). I don’t even know how I’ll end up feeling about the Star Wars movies she helped get made (because I haven’t seen them) but you really should do some research on the woman because those producing credits is what got her the damn job (and George Lucas trusts her too actually seeking her out for the job before selling it all to Disney I believe). She was a hands on producer for these movies too, but even if all she did was hand out the money she deserves fucking respect for helping to bring those to life.

I’m off to actually watch something on YouTube now but man it was fun getting this shit off my chest. Portnoyd will probably disagree with at least one of these points and we will get into a stupid pointless fight in the comments.

Another group of Random Thoughts

 I’m not having the best of times so it’s time for another group of random thoughts that I just need to get out of my system so let’s do it!

1.) Some interviewer decided to bother Alan Moore and he just pissed all over comics again and comic fans and all that. I get that he got screwed over by DC Comics regarding Watchmen. I’m actually not even going to bother going over his comments but the reaction to his comics. The first thing is interviews stop fucking sending a single fucking question of this manner to the guy. He isn’t going to change his thoughts. Unless you just want to cause a tizzy. and Two.) You do not, ever, have to explain your enjoyment of something to fucking anyone, let alone a human being you will never ever meet. I mean okay maybe if that thing you are enjoying is beating women you’ll have to fucking explain that but comic books. Let people enjoy the fucking things. I mean yeah I think way too many fans of comics are emotionally retarded (his words from the interview subject) but the vast majority of them are not. Or at least a good amount of them aren’t. It doesn’t matter if the person is very talented at making the thing you enjoy or not. Just grab every bit of entertainment and joy you can get out of this wretched life. Seriously, If it’s not hurting another human being do as much of that thing as you fucking can. It’s 10000% more emotionally retarded to care about what a person again you will not ever meet thinks of what you enjoy.

2.) Mama Cass has for 50 years now had a awful rumor over her death. That she choked to death eating a ham sandwich, which isn’t true. She died of a heart attack in her sleep. Just imagine having some guy joke about that and having it somehow become the “truth” for decades. I’m sure I joked about it to my dad because I thought it was the truth. That just sounds incredibly awful to happen. I hope to change that supposed “truth” with the actual truth.

3.) I’ve been re-watching old 80s and 90s cartoons and I really think they mostly hold up. I’ve been laughing and just having a good time. I then talk about them on my YouTube. I really don’t have any idea for this one.

4.) Yes, it’s the obligatory “old internet was better” post that I do a lot of but the old internet will always be better. I’m sorry but message forums are better than social media because these forums had a member that was willing to stop arguments and all things like that. However that’s not my only point about this. My point is it’s so fucking hard to now find the remnants of the old internet, which is still out there. Look up Silver Surfer and you’ll find 820202 pages about some new movie and not a single page from 1997 about some guy making a page about why he likes the Silver Surfer and that’s what I want to see, damnit.

5.) I feel like blathering about video game prices again. For stuff that should never have been more than 3 dollars. Like a mario game. I will never get how a game that has THAT many copies out there STILL go for more than 3 bucks. I don’t get how Pokemon games go for that much. Literally every body in my fucking grade 8 class would talk about that game and that was 13 year olds! What the hell! I do not understand how they go for $80! or more! It’s baffling to me. There has to be more copies of that game out there than anything!

6.) I clearly only had 2 random thoughts and I just pulled the last three out of my ass after spending way too much time looking at a blank screen.