Yep, we are continuing our fun time reviewing NES games. If you haven’t been reading recently, we’ve gotten to the Cs! That’s right 106 games have been reviewed! This is now the second set of C titles! Not titles graded a C but ones that start with a C! So let’s get to reviewin’!

Man this box art screams “I AM A GRAPHIC DESIGNER FOR REAL MAN” and I think I love it for that. It’s just a random blast of shit that’s related to poker including the word Poker! It’s genuinely hilarious to me. I don’t know why either. It also feels very 1990s too. Anyway the company Sofel is a weird one but I like most of their games and I think that this is a pretty good casino game, probably the best one on the NES. It’s a weird Casino RPG. You have to fight poker players and blackjack players before getting to the final guy. It has pretty good music and pretty good graphics and if you dig Casino shit you should play this one. It’s pretty neat. At least I think so.

Despite adding in Roulette (which is kind of a shitty game honestly. I would never play it if I went to an actual casino. Seems to random for me) this is a downgrade in every manner. Gone is the weird RPG elements, you could I believe choose to just do poker people first and then black jack. You could do it in whatever way you felt was best. This you go through 10 people, playing Roulette, Blackjack and Poker. You also play a whole lot less people in this game, I don’t remember how many people in the original but I know it had to be more than 10 players. It’s also a downgrade in cover art too. The first one was goofy 1990s looking crap but this is just the cast of Dynasty or some soap opera playing poker. Wow! Also because it’s my thing to annoy you all with stories of the ole days before everything went stupid, I think I paid $20 AND got this game in Newfoundland. I’m sorry but that now means Casino Kid 2 is not as rare as you think. Certainly not $130 rare. Still it’s not an awful game or anything it’s just not all that good either. It’s very OKAY. I certainly enjoy the first game a lot more. This feels like “Yeah shove a game onto the old NES” demand from marketing at Sofel Inc.

Oh boy! Here we have a pile of hot shit from the United Kingdom! Steamy, smelly blood pudding filled shit for you all to enjoy. Or not. This game is slow and ugly and very unappealing. You play as this weird looking douchebag monster thing and he has to jump up and get to the top of a castle or some shit. I’ve never beaten the first level of this game I don’t think. It’s because the play controls of this game is the slipperiest shit in the world. It is so hard to control the little monster douchebag. It’s one of my least favorite NES games. I would probably put it in the bottom 75 games on the NES. I don’t even want to talk about it any more.

You think I’d be able to get away from ANOTHER ONE OF THE WORST NES GAMES EVER MADE for at least a few posts right? You’d think that I wouldn’t find a game WORSE THAN CASTELIAN so quickly. But I did. Castle of Deciet was Color Dreams under their Bunch Games name. I don’t know why Color Dreams changed their name because they were unlicensed and all that and didn’t have to play by Nintendo’s rules of THIS IS HOW MANY GAMES YOU CAN PUT ON OUR NINTENDO A YEAR PAY ATTENTION TO IT JERK OR I WILL STAB YOUR ASSHOLE. I would watch a Color Dreams documentary movie. I would not play any of their NES games (actually I probably will because I’m that foolish and sad) This game is a weird mess of garbage. It has the same problem every Color Dreams has which is really shitty play control. It also has the same problem of “Let’s just jam shit into levels all willy nilly without thinking of how players are even supposed to get past this without dying”. Like so many enemies and stuff placement is just thrown all over the place without any care. I would not play this game at all.

This game is pretty weird. It’s a sidescroller where all you do is fight bosses. It’s strange. It’s a lot like Sword Fighter. I think the games are connected somehow. I don’t know or care. This game is pretty enjoyable but also janky as shit. It’s pretty enjoyable to try to find out the right weapon to fight the right boss. It’s also pretty hard. Sometimes it’s fair hard and sometimes it’s hard because the hit detection is weird and shitty and sometimes you’ll just jump into a pit because of kinda crummy play control. It’s a janky ass game that I dunno if I can call GOOD but I like it too much to call it BAD so I guess that means I will end up putting it in the OKAY section.

This is another pretty interesting game that I kinda like but I also can’t really call good. I don’t know if it totally deserves to be considered SHIT like most people do consider it. I’ll put it in the okay section again. Anyway you play as a weird little FANCY DANDY FOP who has to save a princess or some shit from Satan. That’s clearly Satan on the game cover. Anyway, you have to go through a maze like Castle to save everyone. Honestly the only real problem this game has is that if you fall from to high a height you die and that’s bullshit no matter what game. The good guy should be able to jump down 34 stories to the ground and not get hurt. They CERTAINLY should be able to jump off a 1 foot thing and not die. It’s very annoying but I don’t hate this game or anything. I still kinda like this one.

Good Games: 54

Bad Games: 45

Okay games: 14