Sunday, July 2, 2023

The Final Episode #110: The Smurfs (1981 - 1989)

 


Well, you beautiful people sure didn't give a shit about The New Adventures of He-Man and honestly I cannot blame you. So we are taking a break from the He-Man universe for a while. There's at least two more shows I want to talk about related to He-Man. I'm sure you know what they are. Anyway I still wanted to talk about something from the 1980s that was incredibly popular but I always forget about. I don't know why. Anyway I think The Smurfs is the last of the big name 80s cartoons that I have left to talk about. I might have to give a looksee at a list but after this the biggest big name cartoon left would be She-Ra. I think that would count as a big name so I guess I was wrong already in this opening paragraph. Isn't that something?

The Smurfs has a pretty long history to it, so buckle up boys and girls! It all starts in 1928 with the birth of Belgian comics artist Pierre (which is one of the best French names ever) "Peyo" Culliford. At only 19 or so years old the man creates his first comic Johan which in 1954 became Johan and Peewit when well the character Peewit joined. Peewit is a very goofy name that I do enjoy writing and saying. Peewit. It's got pee in the name. Comedy gold. GOLD IS THE SAME COLOR AS PEE!!!! Uh. Okay back to the history of The Smurfs. They show up in a Johan and Peewit story called The Flute with Six Holes. They literally become so popular that Peyo pretty much starts making comics for them. I betcha didn't know the Smurfs are a spinoff! I gotta stop clicking on Wikipedia links or I will go down a rabbit hole reading about European comics that I cannot find here in Canada.

Anyway in 1976 a man named Stuart R. Ross was travelling in Belgium and saw the Smurfs and well history was changed on that day! The Smurfs were brought over to America and that's how Fred Silverman's daughter Melissa got one. That's what gave him the idea of making it into a cartoon in 1981. He then went to Hanna-Barbera and they worked with Peyo (he was very involved with this cartoon) Even though port will do his LOL JOSH HABANRALABARA AND JIMMY BANANANANANA joke that was maybe funny the first time not even he can deny that this was a popular as hell series lasting 258 episodes (which since most episodes had two stories turned into 425 stories overall) and 7 specials. It was without a doubt one of the most popular Saturday Morning Cartoons of all time. It lasted from 1981 to 1989. It was one of the few hits Fred Silverman had during his time!

Anyway I think I'll talk about my history with The Smurfs which isn't much. I remember getting Teletoon Retro, a satellite cable channel in Canada and it showed the Smurfs. I aksed my parents if I had ever watched it and they said I was a big fan when I was like four. I don't remember this but I was also four at the time and what I do remember about being four involves Ninja Turtles and Real Ghostbusters, not blue men and one woman (so weird). I'm pretty sure no channel showed the Smurfs in reruns around here and I'm surprised they didn't. I did for some reason watch both of those live action movies with Doogie Howser and they were absolute dogshit. Do not watch those movies. Ever. Anyway, that's pretty much it for me and the Smurfs.

It's finally time to sit down and watch the Final Episode of the Smurfs! It's a two fer apparently, but it's 23 minutes long. Did the Smurfs show for an hour back then or did I get hornswoggled by internet episode guides again! Anyway I watched it so I'm gonna talk about it. It's called The Golden Rhino and was brought to us on December 2nd, 1989. Apparently they changed things up for the Smurfs in the ninth and final season where they end up time travelling. Wild. Apparently they changed it up because Quantum Leap was popular, or at least that's what Wikipedia said. Anyway I want a crossover of both of those shows now. That would be something else. Anyway the Smurfs are forced to travel throughout time and get sent to Africa. They are trapped on a bridge and almost fall into the water

They are saved by a young African boy named Pricari and his Rhino Rhadu who can turn anything into gold with his horn! Rhadu turns the bridge rope into gold and the Smurfs can climb up it! They do so and Pricari decides to bring them to his village to meet his friends. His friends Stretch (a Giraffe) and Cubby (a lion cub) meet the Smurfs and then we pretty much change over to the bad guys of this episode. A guy named Tamar the Treacherous who has Rhadu's parents. Two other golden rhinos who he has made useless by over taxing them. You know the kind of story this is already if you've seen any 80s/90s cartoon. Anyway he sends his henchmen Azoul out to kidnap Rhadu! He apparently knows where he is and goes after him with some Gorilla Men. I like the way the Gorilla Men look in this episode It's pretty great! Anyway Rhadu, some weird bear creature that hangs out with The Smurfs now and Brainy Smurf go to the woods away from the other Smurfs so that Brainy can turn his books that he's written into gold. He says his words will live on forever. Hey Brainy I think they should actually call you Egotistical Idiot Smurf because how the FUCK are you supposed to open a book after its turn into gold you daft SHIT?

Anyway Brainy gets captured along with Rhadu and they turn Brainy into gold and bring it all back to Tamar who you know starts turning everything into Gold even his fucking food which he wouldn't be able to eat! Jesus man you do realize if you turn everything into Gold it becomes useless right!? Still he turns everything even his bed into gold. Which would not be fun to sleep on but I guess he's just gotta have that gold. He's like that annoying character from the 3rd Austin Powers movie, Goldmember. The only funny part of that movie was Michael Caine and one scene of Dr. Evil talking about his father. Still better than The Love Guru. Just about anything is better than that though. Anyway Pricari, Stupid Idiot Smurf and Painter Smurf along with his animal friends come to save Rhadu! They all end up in the dungeon except for Pricari who pulls an invention out of his butt that saves the day. It's this thing with some wooden hands that move. I do not remember if they ever mentioned he was an inventor or not but it made me go "huh?" when it happened. Anyway they save the day by rescuing Rhadu. 

They escape in one of Tamar's ships and Tamar follows him after them in his new ship that he wanted turned into gold. They try to use the wooden hand invention again and it ends up failing. Tamar finally catches up with them but they got the three Rhinos to put their horns together and end up turning his ship into gold. He then tells Azoul to remember where the ship sank because he's coming back for it. I'm glad this guy doesn't have any more golden rhinos or golden gooses or golden touches because he uses it too much. Anyway this episode was actually a lot more fun than I am making it sound and I actually enjoyed it. I just like Gorilla Men and making fun of Brainy Smurf.

The next episode that was a part of this was called Hearts N Smurfs and was quite shorter than the other episode and I enjoyed it more. Anyway this episode involves Cupid and Holland! So yes the Smurfs do in fact wear clogs and it's very cute. I think thats why I like it more. I'm a very simple man to please. Anyway we see Cupid making animals and all that fall in love and be happy nice people. We also see this episodes bad guy Van Garg... an ancestor of Gargamel from later on and yes he does have the exact kind of cat. Except his cats name is Hans because you know Holland. We also see him destroying a tulip. Van Garg almost has Cupid but the Smurfs time travelling knocks him into the water but also hurts Cupid's wings so he has to go to the Smurfs for help. He trains three Smurfs, Hefty (who apparently is supposed to be Strong but whenever I see the word Hefty I think big old fat guy) Clumsy, and Brainy into Cupids to help him until his wings heal. You'd think Clumsy would be the one who would get captured first but nope it's Egotistical Idiot Smurf who gets captured by Van Garg and turned into a bad guy. He then turns everyone else into bad guys and it's only due to a mistake by Hefty (who hits a rain cloud with an arrow turning it into a love cloud. The love cloud turns Van Garg into a nice guy and he and his cat Hans run around Holland being nice. Papa Smurf puts the Time Crystals together and hopefully they will return home this time. 

FINAL VERDICT: These were two charming fun little adventures starring a bunch of blue men and one woman (still so weird). They did not have my favorite Smurf, Gay Stereotype Smurf in them but I will always be happy to make fun of Brainy Smurf. Anyway this just reminds me of a question I want to ask, what's better a good but not really "final" Final Episode or a bad episode that does end things? I mean I'd rather watch this over Sabrina the Teenage Witch or New Adventures of He-Man any day. Maybe that's for a special edition where I go over all the types of Final Episodes. I dunno. Anyway I've written enough about this stuff for today.


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