Game #739: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: I'm surprised that this is the first time I've talked about the Killer Tomatoes on this blog. It was a series of four silly ass comedy movies that came out around 1978 to 1992 I believe. They even had a cartoon show on fox. John Astin plays a crazy scientist in at least three of them and is the best part! I just want you to know that Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a fun series of movies and I vaguely recall the animated series which is what this game is based on. I'm sure said series was way better than this game. It was made by Imagineering which might have made the worst platformers for the NES. I think there's like one game I kinda like from them. Not a good company. THQ published the game for them and THEY also suck wet ass. They don't even get some nice dry ass to suck. This game is awful for the same reason say Swamp Thing for the NES is awful. Stiff annoying play control. The graphics are fine, the music is fine. I don't remember too many poorly designed levels. It just the play control is like controlling a lead balloon. it's not fun.
Game #738: Swamp Thing. I think this game has the worst controls of any game on the NES. It controls like too tightly and also too loosely. It's hard to explain. It's like they wanted to see if they could go for both kinds of bad controls and they succeeded in that part. Again I actually like the music and the graphics are still good. It's just those shitty garbage play control.
Game #737: The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man: Man you'd think by 1992 that game developers would have known how to make a NES game. Like you'd think they'd have learnt from their mistakes and would be putting out stuff that's worth a fucking shit, but nope. This was the third in the trilogy of Bart Simpsons games, this time making him Bartman. I think Bartman actually appeared on the Simpsons tv show like once. I mean the Good Simpsons because I have no idea what they are doing with the beloved family these days because I cannot watch it anymore. This however is a review of the video game and not me bitching about the last two decades of a TV show (wow it's actually been more than two decades of bad Simpsons now) This is another Imagineering gem. So you know pulling off the Superhero moves that Bartman has is as easy as pie. And by pie I mean ITS FUCKING FRUSTRATING. This game somehow outdoes every other Imagineering games controls and I didn't think that was fucking possible!
Game #736: The Simpsons Bart Vs the World. Some people seem to have positive memories of these games and I don't see how that was possible. I had a copy of Bart Vs the Space Mutants (or I rented it because it was the Damn Simpsons, DAMNIT!) and I don't think it ever got played that much. The games were something I could tell were poor even back then and I'd willingly play and watch just about anything. You have the same shit controls every other piss ass Imagineering game has and I'm glad I only have like one more of there games that are unplayable to play.
Game #735: Ren and Stimpy Buckaroo$. I think this is the first time I've mentioned Ren and Stimpy on this blog too. It was a cartoon I thought was amazing as a youngster but I really don't get today as an adult. It's one of the few things I'm baffled that I liked as a kid. I saw one scene recently of Ren just ripping his gums out and wondered where the hell the joke was. It was just HEY WE ARE DOING SOMETHING GROSS and we forgot the joke but don't worry about it! This was the only Ren and Stimpy game on the NES and yes the NES was still making games in 1993. This game not only has the awful play control of every other Imagineering game but it also has awful level design AND awful weapons. Ren gets this stupid slap that you have to get right next to some bad guy to use and WOW YOU ALSO GOT HIT. THANKS ALOT YOU SHUTTERING BUG FUCKERS. Imagineering is the worst company to make games for the NES and the worst fucking thing that New Jersey ever gave the world. Fuck them in the ear with a rotten dildo. I don't know how the dildo got rotten but it did fucking hell ass shit.
Game #734: Ghostbusters: When I got my second NES in 1998 I was given this game along side like 20 others (one of them I believe was Snow Brothers! Wild huh!) and I thought it was the worst game ever made for the NES. Now I like it a little better. I think it was clear they were trying some things that I don't think they could pull off that early in the NES' lifespan. It's just the game is still really boring and also frustrating as hell. There's one segment that could have been removed all together of the driving. You hit any of the drivers in that segment and you lose money. You don't go fast enough and you lose fucking gas which you have to go off to get and THEN have to do the driving segment again. You also have to buy your equipment which is just weird. It always took too long to get the money you needed and if you were lucky enough to get into the Gozer Building it was fucking impossible to go up the stairs due to how slow the Ghostbusters moved. We got a game based on the second movie and sadly it is not much better than this one.
Game #733: Ghostbusters II: This game is a little better than the first but we are still in the section of awful horse shit. It just means this is just a tad less awful than the last game. None of the games in this section are even playable really. Unless you enjoy sadism against yourself (yes I know there an actual word for it but "sadism against yourself" is funny to me so I'mma keep on using it) This game has some awful music and some awful graphics but what really ruins it is the fact that the play control is awful. So fucking stiff and not fun. You do get to play a better driving stage than the first game but it's still very annoying.
Game #732: Mickey Mousecapade is the worst Disney game on the NES. I am a big fan of most of them so you will see them high up on this list. However I just had to throw this one in here because this is my list and I fucking hate this garbage shit game that makes me puke. The game has fine graphics and decent enough music, but what brings it down is the fact that you play as Mickey AND Minnie, if minnie dies because you messed up YOU BOTH DIE. Fuck this game right hard in it's mouse ass. Actually don't do that because it's really gross. Just don't play this game.
Game # 731: Back to the Future 2 and 3: This could have been a good game really if it was just for one thing. A fucking map secreen. You have to go all over the place collecting items via mini games and then put them back in the right area. It's a LARGE fucking map and you WILL get confused. Not to mention you have to bring them back to the right area in time. Not a bad concept, just horribly done and will leave you annoyed to fuck.
Game #730: Back to the Future: This is another game that could have been neat but really isn't. It's several dumb mini games that are not fun to play (I've never made it past the first one) that are at best Atari level. That's being nice too. I would not waste my precious time playing this game. The non-mini game stages are really boring and samey. There's also the fact that you HAVE to beat the Final Stage in one go or you lose. No matter how many lives or continues you had. That's just some mean fucking shit. So in the words of Biff Tannen this game needs to make like a tree and get outta here.
Wow. All of these games were based on a license. Huh. Wild. Anyway enjoy me yelling at some dumb games.
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