Comic Review #76: The Incredible Hulk #378 (1991)

 

It's amazing what I have talked about in Comic Review and what I haven't. I really want to do so much with this column (I'm gonna call them this from now on because it makes me feel like I'm working for the New Yorker and thus very smart and you should listen to me and do what I say and respect me without thinking for yourself). I want to talk about old comics. I want to talk about new comics. I want to talk about everything you can within the comic world. However I figured it was time to cross off a big name off the list of comic characters I haven't talked about yet. It was finally time to talk about The Incredible Hulk.

I for some weird reason never picked up Incredible Hulk comics as a kid. I couldn't find new issues or old issues. I was weird with comics as a kid. I would call so many of them "gay and stupid" because I was like eleven and stupid. I now know that all comics really are gay and stupid and that's why they are amazing. I mean Superheroes are all people who dress in very fancy colorful spandex. I think that clearly makes them all at least bisexual. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah. The Incredible Hulk. They wouldn't show up at the Second Page bookstores or if they did they were too expensive. I would have had them if they were there. I picked up Fantastic Four for The Human Torch and mostly THE THING. The Thing is a great character. I love him. The Incredible Hulk was also a monster and I loved monsters. I still do. I am literally still eleven years old. 

So yeah. It wasn't until I found out about the ACTUAL comic book stores in my town (one started in 1991 and one started in 1997. I did not find out about either of them until December of 2003 when I just had a hankering to use some spending money from Christmas on comic books. I can't remember why I was like MAN I'M GONNA GET ME SOME COMICS TODAY after like 5 or so years of not reading any.) I just did. I don't know what I got that day. Probably some Spider-Man stuff, but I would go hog wild and finally get some Hulk comics in later visits. Now I have too many comic books to count yet I cannot stop buying them.

Anyway, Let's talk a little about the Incredible Hulk himself. He was Scientist Dr. Robert Bruce Banner who while saving the life of Rick Jones was hit with gamma radiation and turns into the Hulk whenever he gets mad (this was actually a retcon as in the original six issues it would be at night time that he would turn into a monster. I think the getting mad thing works better, personally.) and at first The Incredible Hulk was kind of a dud. They put out six issues before it was cancelled. He became a surprise guest star in every other comic that Marvel had until he got the top spot in Tales to Astonish. The second spot at that time was Namor. So you got some great stuff there! He got his own comic again in 1968 and the rest is history.

At this point in the Incredible Hulk's career it was shown that he had several different personalities. The big old dumb green Hulk. A smart grey hulk who became a gangster called Mr. Fix It. Also a smart version of the gray hulk called Professor Hulk. It was all real cool and neat. This was all Peter David's doing. He wrote the Hulk for twelve years. They were great comics but I think the Incredible Hulk has probably had the best overall comics because the good majority of them are at least fun. I can't think of many Hulk comics where I went "WELL THAT WAS ASS SOUP". I can think of entire eras of Fantastic Four and X-Men and even Spider-Man that are complete ass soup but not the Hulk.

So since you have seen the cover you can tell this is a Christmas comic! Why is The Incredible Hulk fighting Santa!? Is it Santa?! WHY DOES SANTA HATE THE HULK?! Well this issue starts out with Rick Jones, the guy Hulk saved all the way back in 1962 and well they ended up becoming friends and all that. So they are at a hospital. Doc Samson is doing therapy with Bruce. Marlo and Betty are doing other stuff so Rick is just wandering around. He comes across two kids fighting and decides to tell them a story of what happened one year ago. We then get introduced to today's Supervillain... THE RHINO. He's very lonely this Christmas. He just wants to talk about Football and Broads but the only people who will talk to him are other villains and all they want to do is talk about destroying Superheroes and not Joe Montana (Was he a thing in 1991? I do not know football.) 

He is set to rob a bank because that makes him feel good until he finds out that the Hulk is around here and he isn't into a big old brawl with him right now. Anyway he sees a Santa Claus getting money for the needy and decides to beat the shit outta him and take his costume! It's Rhino Claus! He's getting money for the needy when someone comes out from the Mall and gets him to come in and be the Mall Santa. He puts up with kids for what seems like hours (long enough for the Hulk to not be the Hulk anymore but turn into the Hulk yet again because they went back to the SUNSET thing makes the Hulk turn into the Hulk again for a short amount of time in this era ((I had totally forgotten about them even doing this!)). He anyway has a freak out at one of the kids after he pokes him in the eyes Three Stooges style. He throws the kid who is caught by the Hulk.

This might be the best Rhino/Hulk fight ever. The Hulk trips him up in Bowling balls after making a corny joke about HAVING THE BALLS to fight you. The Rhino nearly punches a woman giving cookies out because the cookies have macadamia nuts which the Rhino hates! It takes a Little Girl who thinks Rhino is the real Santa and that he shouldn't be fighting with anyone and that there might not be a real Santa after all to make them stop fighting and go back to just having kids come up to them again. This was cute. The story ends with Rick Jones getting kicked in the shin by one of the kids. So if you hate Rick Jones you should at least enjoy the ending of this story. 

FINAL VERDICT: I always enjoyed when Peter David went all in with the comedy in some issues. This was a really fun issue with lots of fun one lines. My favorite being when the Rhino says "I liked you better when you had a ten word vocabulary!" I'm just kinda iffy on the art. I think Bill Jaaska did a really great cover but the work within the comic feels wonky and rushed in places. I dunno if I'm spoiled or not because of all of the other great artist who worked with Peter David. I think this was just a fill in with the art. The art's definitely not bad enough to completely ruin the comic tho. The cute little kid getting them to work together to make people's Christmases made for a fun ending to the story. I also enjoyed how none of the kids Rick was telling the story too even believed him. I wonder if he made it all up! Anyway this was a fun one and you should pick it up!