Saturday, June 5, 2021

The Final Episode #49: The Secret World of Alex Mack (1994 - 1998)


 

I think I misspoke earlier in this blog which is probably going to happen the way I do blog posts. For well a multitude of reasons. I don't really have good access to stuff that will tell me how long a show was on YTV or any tv station that was on when I was a kid. Or What shows were on when. Sure there's wikipedia but that list is I'm sure incomplete. It's just my sweet memories of yore that I will have to go on. Nickelodeon gets a whole website dedicated to what shows were on it in the past. The biggest problem is that I write these articles in a weird way as I just let my brain tell me what to write and I just barf it up on the screen. If I come up with an opening I think is fun or interesting it will get shoved in there somehow. I forget many things I mean to mention but I dunno something about this way of writing these articles makes it fun and exciting for you the reader!

The thing I misspoke about was well I said there were no live action shows on Nickoldeon besides Are You Afraid of the Dark? which is well a complete falsehood. The Secret World of Alex Mack (today's Final Episode) was on the channel for at least some amount of time. We also got Nickelodeon GUTS which was a gameshow that I watched despite not caring about sports because I'm a fat fatty fat mcfatterson. Clarissa Explains It All I believe appeared on the Family Channel (which was the equivlent of the Disney Channel for Canada which makes it really weird that a Nickelodeon show appeared on there but it could just be my bad memory and it appeared on some other channel)

We to the best of my knowledge never got Hey Dude! or Legends of the Hidden Temple or Roundhouse or Weinerville (this one looked really bad to be honest) or The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo. I actually want to see that last one because it has Pat "Sexual Tiger" Morita in it. Yes I mentioned that show just so I could make that terrible joke. Anyway port recently said that Nickelodeon went down the tubes when they started creating their own shows and well I think he's completely wrong about that. I do actually plan to not only talk about all of those shows I don't think we got in Canada and maybe even some new Nickelodeon shows. I guess spending too much time on twitter gets you interested in TV made in the 21st Century that you will probably not enjoy because it was made for a 12 year old born in 2012 yet you kinda want to see what kids who are now 21 liked at one point. God I'm feeling old.

The Secret World of Alex Mack was created by Tom Lynch and Ken Lipman and was about a teenage girl named well Alex Mack who was getting ready for the seventh grade when a bunch of weird chemicals get dropped on her. Of course with this being a sci fi show she ends up getting super powers. She and her best friend Ray and sister Annie are the only ones who know. The owner of the chemical company wants to find her to do you know dasterdly things to her. She had to go through the trials of being a kid going to Junior High AND wild superhero antics. It was a perfect show for kids really. It ran for 4 seasons between October 8th, 1994 to January 4th, 1998. I don't know how long it ran for on YTV but I know I did watch and really enjoy this show. I don't think it ran for the entire four years because I don't remember watching this Final Episode and I watched the piss out of YTV. Again I wish I had my uncle's collection of Newfoundland Heralds (This was a tv guide port).

The Final Episode of The Secret World of Alex Mack came out as I mentioned on January 4th, 1998. It was a two parter! I love two parters because I get to blather on even longer than usual about these goofy old tv shows that no one cares about any more. It was called Paradise Lost after that fancy book or movie that I've never seen or read. I'm not even sure what it really is except that it's something I've never experienced. The Secret World of Alex Mack two part finale starts out with Alex having a nightmare that everyone she knows now knows about her super powers. Alex wakes up and ends up being found out by someone (FORESHADOWING). This guy is named Louis. I'm going to assume he was the wacky prankster of the series because every series had one of those and holy sweet fuck does this kid look like what a wacky prankster should look like. It's pretty amazing honestly. If I weren't so lazy you'd see a picture of him here but I am so you'll have to go look elsewhere.

So Louis finds out and is freaked the fuck out because well who wouldn't be. He then realizes it's cool as fuck and won't shut the fuck up about it. Meanwhile at the evil factory they are turning the stuff that turned Alex into a weird superhero (yeah I should mention it her now but her powers are being able to shoot electricity out of her finger tips and moving stuff with her mind and turning into a puddle) into a weight loss thing. They got it even approved by the FDA by giving them fake test results. I'm pretty sure it's not that easy to do but hey this is a silly Nickelodeon show from the 1990s. Anyway they are getting ready to run away to Switzerland so the people are all fucked when they realize all of the weird problems that will happen. One janitor guy who was also the driver who spilled the junk on Alex in episode one goes to the police.

Louis talks to Ray on a cell phone and since the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION can also track cell phones they find out about Alex so they abduct Louis to find all the information out about Alex. Alex's dad gets fired because the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION is firing everyone who has something to do with the creation of the gunk that they are trying to sell people. Alex's parents leave and Alex is abducted by the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION. She turns her and a friend into goop to try to escape but it's no good as she's VACCUMED UP. Wild! The Friend gets in contact with Ray and part one ends.

Part two has well Ray and The Friend Who's Name I don't Remember tell Louis to use his big mouth and try to tell everyone but they also say that the lady who runs the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION is a hero to the people in the town. Louis tries but pretty much fails to get anyone to come with him (someone even kicks him in the shin!) Alex is in a tube that she can't escape out of. Her parents are brought in and they FINALLY find out that shes a super powered kid! This is a big deal because they were trying to keep this from them for the entire series. Ray and Friend get into the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION (all while this is happening the Police are putting their case together to put them in jail FOREVER) and the EVIL LADY who runs the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION tells some evil guy named Lars (except for Fry when he went back in time in one of those Futurama movies has there ever been a good guy named Lars in any movie or tv show?)  to blow the fuck out of the entire building. 

Ray gets into the place with Alex and her family and literally just pulls a piece of something off the wall and breaks the glass wall Alex is in. She gets them and other Friend out but Ray gets captured so Alex has to go back in an get him. The Evil Lady wants to escape to Switzerland but she gets captured by Friend. You think she'd be able to get away from a teenage boy. Especially one who I believe was supposed to be around 15 years old but I guess not. The helicopter leaves with out her and Lars is also taken into custody after just being in his car. He should have realized the damn place would have been blocked and ran like a motherfucker or I dunno, tried to get a ride on the helicopter with Evil Lady. 

Everyone is happy to be not dead and we go to a few days ahead. Alex's dad gives her an antidote to the powers and her sister talks to her about everything that happens. She is alone and then shoots the sky with her electric fingers and wonders if she will even take the antidote. It's an open ending ending but I get the feeling that people wanted to do more with the series after this (There's also a scene where the evil chemical has been knocked down and gunk is going into a damn sewer.) 

FINAL VERDICT: I would have been very happy with this finale as a kid and had a lot of fun watching it now. Watching it as a kid I would have been like WOW THIS IS SO SERIOUS AND A SERIOUS WAY TO END THIS SHOW and as an adult I'm like Lol none of this really makes any sense. It's not that easy to screw the FDA. If someone somehow screwed over the FDA and made a billion on a faulty product they wouldn't have bothered risking anything trying to capture Alex Mack they would have just ran to Switzerland. Still it was a fun way to spend an hour and I actually really want to watch more. The lady who plays the EVIL LADY who runs the EVIL CHEMICAL ORGANIZATION was a whole hell of a lot of fun to watch. So yeah that's my feelings on The Secret World of Alex Mack. It's silly but a fun silly.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah no, original Nickelodeon was still far superior.

    I watched like the first two episodes of this show. I was aged out of Nick at that point. However, even to this day, I still have a crush on Larissa Oleynik. Pretty much the prettiest actress I've ever seen. AND BEFORE YOU CALL ME A PERV SHE'S 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. She aged like a fine wine. She was delicious in 10 Things I Hate About You and in the bit part she had in Mad Men. I don't know anything else she's done but man, she cute.

    What were we talking about. Oh right, final episode. This one sounds like it was good. 2 parter, high stakes and closure. The ambiguous ending is a little annoying but not in a bad way.

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  2. original Nickelodeon had like so many shows I would have avoided as a child man. Sorry.

    I'm not going to call you a perv because I had a crush on her too when I was a wee child. Idiot.

    She was also in the BABYSITTERS CLUB movie.

    It was a well done finale that I'm sure kept kids glued to their seats which I think is what a finale for any kind of show should be like.

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  3. I don't know, you of all people would take the opportunity to CANCEL me if you could, you moose loving social justice HORSE.

    ReplyDelete

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