Movie Review #38: Black Roses (1988)

 

I haven't reviewed a movie since The Identical which was on May 23rd. I just haven't been watching many movies lately. However I was reminded of a small sub group of horror films from the 1980s that mixed Heavy Metal music and Horror together to great success. Rocktober Blood, Rock N Roll Nightmare, Trick or Treat, and Terror on Tour. I mean I liked Terror on Tour but I doubt I will be revisiting it for this set of articles. All of these movies are pretty darn wild and I knew I had to return to reviewing movies with something amazing that would knock the shit outta your cotton socks. This is the perfect movie to return with! 

This movie starts off with a band playing out to a sold out crowd. The band is called Black Roses and they are EVIL. Not fake evil but real hard core evil demon motherfuckers. It's weird that the protesting parents are shown to be right in this case. Strange. Some people try to stop them but they are too late the kids are now EVIL and will take over this town. Black Roses moves on to the next town, a small sleepy town known as Mill Basin. We meet this movies hero a dude with the second best mustache of the 1980s behind Tom Selleck. This man is named Matthew but I'm just going to call him Second Best Mustache Man. He's a high school literature teacher.

The parents want the band out of the town but are fooled at their first performance. They come out looking like they are Air Supply or some cornball band that only I could enjoy. Then once the parents leave, the lights go out and BLAM they are dressed like they are at some BDSM event. It's great. They then get to work using their music to take over the kids and turn them into demon creatures. The kids and a random boom box speaker start killing their parents and other members of the town and only Second Best Mustache Man can stop it.

Second Best Mustache Man has a kid (played by a 30 year old) who wants to bone him and when he doesnt she turns into this crazy fucking demon creature. I loved how many rubbery crazy ass monsters this movie has. It has so many wonderful practical effects. I loved them. They get into a fight and the monster sadly dies. Monsters are cool! Its finally up to the Second Best Mustache Man to blow up the damn theatre where the band is and save the kids! WILL HE DO IT? You'll just have to watch the movie and see.

FINAL VERDICT: This is a great piece of 80s horror. I don't even like Heavy Metal music all that much and I love this damned movie. The acting is all over the place and but all the characters are mostly likable. The main guy is probably the best actor of the bunch and yes he does have a mighty fine mustache. The kids being played by people in their 20s and 30s (it was the 80s after all) are clearly having the time of their lives being evil. You could literally write 30,000 words about this movie and all of the insane scenes in it. Like when a speaker comes to life and ejects a monster that captures a stereotypical Italian man and PULLS HIM INTO THE SPEAKER. Or the part with STRIP GIN. Yes the card game. Somehow the other movies I plan to talk about are even weirder than this one. The only downside is when reading up on this movie I found out the director John Fasano had passed away in 2014 at only fifty two years old. Very unfortunate. I enjoyed this movie and the other stuff he had done. Highly recommended even if you don't like the metal music!