Movie Review #9: Spiders (2000)

 

Nu Image was created by people who would help executive produce movies at Cannon. Like Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold or American Ninja 2: The Confrontation. 20 minutes ago I was a lot more excited about that, and I had several silly comments to make but now I'm angry because during my little research period I found out that one of them is a fucker who couldn't keep his grabby little hands to himself, or decided to help another fucker who couldn't keep their grabby little hands to themselves. Fuck Avi Lerner. Fuck him hard right in the dick.

Avi Lerner may be a piece of shit but I can't deny that several of the movies Nu Image had a hand in were  great. The Expendables series of films might be the most popular of all the stuff they did. They started in 1993 and I still believe they are going. They even did the movie Cyber Cop! I'm sure you all remember my dazzling review of that fantastic movie. I won't be mad if you don't though. 

I'm bringing up Nu Image now because I had recently, as in the last two days watched Crocodile and Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, both of which were moderately entertaining creature features. Nu Image seemed to make a ton of them in the early 2000s. Well less than I thought but with Crocodile and it's sequel. Octopus and it's sequel, today's movie and it's sequel makes at least 6 creature movies made between 2000 and 2003. I think that's pretty cool. Oh and add a movie called Rats into the mix. So that's 7. 

Spiders is a fun but well uh simple movie. It's not gonna have the most amazing plot or anything but it gives you want you want from a movie called Spiders. It starts with a lady reporter who believes in aliens and government conspiracies' that works for a small college's newspaper. In a nice comedy moment she tries to help two aliens (who actually turn out to be aliens) made up to look like people. Theres also a shuttle launch that she has to report on but she doesn't because she wants to go to this Military bunker the alien people said they were experimented on in. It doesn't matter where she goes because the fucking shuttle CRASHES INTO THE DESERT right next to the military bunker. She and her two friends find out about the Alien DNA Spider and have to do what they can to stop it!

Spiders gives you want you want from this kinda movie. A gnarly (this is a word, like dweeb, that needs a comeback. We had better terms in the 1990s.) looking spider creature. I won't spoil some of the cool shit that happens in this movie but it's cool! Robert Kurtzman and Greg Nicotero worked on this movie! There is some CGI but I've totally seen worse CGI. I liked all the characters. Mandi and her two friends are very likeable and fun and you're sad to see them go. The hard ass evil military man is played by an actor who is clearly having fun with the role. He's an asshole but a fun asshole. 

 FINAL VERDICT: Watch Spiders.  It's a lot of fun. I can't wait to discuss Spiders 2: Breeding Ground and all of the other Nu Image creature feature movies.