Comic Review #1: The Unknown Soldier #268 (1982)

 

Alright guys and gals and everyone else, It's clearly time for a review of a comic book. This series will take over all of my other series on comics from now on. The review of new comics I did, the review of What Ifs, the review of Elseworlds.. all will now be under the banner of Comic Review....yes that's a great and catchy name. I just like things to be consistent for the most part and since I do TV reviews and I will be doing movie reviews (both Re-Watchathon and Movie Review) Even if I named one series WILD MANS CRAZY MOVIE REVIEW the others would be named the same. I'm not coming up with 82 different names for every review series, DEAL WITH IT SPARKY.

You may be asking yourself, "Who in the heckadillo is The Unknown Soldier, Mikey?" Well, SPARKY sit yer sweet ass down and I'll tell you the tale of the Unknown Soldier. So This tale starts with the comic book Our Army at War, a 1966 issue of the Sgt Rock series where the Unknown Soldier first appears. He is a spy who had his face horribly scarred and no one knows who he is, thus he is able to get into different disguises and go on war type espionage adventures. His adventures were told in Star Spangled War Tales which had several other war characters in them. That book was renamed The Unknown Soldier around 1977 because he had become the main feature and all. Issue #268,  the one we are looking at today is the final issue of the series. It's a full length story with no back ups (the series by this time was doing back ups of Tomahawk and The Balloon Buster and you can bet your sweet bippy that I'll be talking about a comic hero called the Balloon Buster sometime on this channel.) 

I've enjoyed most of the The Unknown Soldier comics I've read. He has a simple get up when he's not in a disguise. A trenchcoat and a hat and a bandaged face. It's a very nice design I think. No need to get wild and flamboyant with a character like this. Anyway most issues were written by Bob Haney and I believe the art team of Dick Ayers and Gerry Talaoc (Dick Ayers would do the breakdowns and Gerry Talaoc would do the finished art) was pretty consistent too. Bob Haney is one of my favorite guys in comics. He wrote stories that were HOG WILD. Like stories that you could never guess how'd they end. I mean he'd also write stories that were more normal, but even those were incredibly amusing and fun to read. The art by Dick and Gerry is really great too.

This being, I believe the final story the Unknown Soldier ever starring in before the Crisis on Infinite Earths ended the Pre-Crisis DC universe. I could be wrong on that, I do remember him appearing in a Batman Brave and the Bold story and a DC Comics Presents story with Superman, but I believe both of them were before this. I will probably review them too because I dig it when the superheroes end up teaming up with the war guys or the western guys. Anyway enough blathering about, what is this final story even about? Well I'll tell your impatient ass Sparky. NOW SIT DOWN.

The Unknown Soldier has gone into Germany near the end of the war. Like Hitler's sitting in his damn bunker end of the war. The Russians are coming, you Nazi fuckers! He sees the man he was sent here to get information from is in front of a firing squad so damn you know it ain't going to be pretty! The Unknown Soldier is pretending to be a Doctor so he is able to get close to the man and hear his final words "Nosferatu" and his adventure to find out what this means ends up with him MEETING FUCKING ADOLF HITLER. Oh and during a fight he forces HITLER TO SHOOT HIMSELF. Yes, Bob Haney got the Unknown Soldier to shoot HITLER RIGHT IN HIS FUCKING FACE. Also that line of dialogue "Good-Bye, SATAN! May you burn in hell until the last tick of eternity" Just might be the best line of dialogue ever! He finds out that Nosferatu is VAMPIRE OCTOPI that were to be sent to kill allied troops. Thankfully he disguises himself as Hitler and ends that bit of NAZI INSANITY. He then maybe dies saving a child from a landmine. The Unknown Soldier would scratch himself a lot in his disguises and the soldier at the end scratches himself so it might just be him.

FINAL VERDICT: This comic was an absolute must read. It's fast paced and action packed, but also pretty sad as everyone including maybe the Unknown Soldier dies. Characters that had several appearances like Chat Noir die. It's a bleak end but It's also a war comic which feels right for some reason. I dunno if every war hero DC had made it out of the war but I know that Sgt Rock and his merry gang didn't either. I would like to read that story too if it was ever printed.  The last page where the Unknown Soldier dies was a little jarring. We could have had a bit more breathing room between Hitler and Vampire Octopi and the main character dying but this is still a great little comic that's worth a read. I personally salute the Unknown Soldier!